


Danger can be exciting

by myspaceout



Series: Missing Scenes [3]
Category: Charmed (TV 2018)
Genre: Anger, F/M, Frustration, Hurt, Jealousy, Longing, Missing Scene, Romance, all in my head, not canon, set after s02e08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21714064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myspaceout/pseuds/myspaceout
Summary: Companion piece to 'The Right Thing'.My take on Macy's thought process at the end of S02E08- and what I would like to have happened next.
Relationships: Harry Greenwood & Macy Vaughn, Harry Greenwood/Macy Vaughn
Series: Missing Scenes [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564960
Comments: 29
Kudos: 78





	1. Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> Some of you wanted me to continue after The Right Thing, but I didn't want to add a direct second chapter, because I originally wrote that as a standalone piece. But the idea for this one came not too long after that, and works as a companion piece to it. There will be a second chapter to this one which I hope to get to in the next few days.

_‘..especially since Harry clearly has feelings for you’_

_‘..did he say that?’_

_‘Yeah, he sorta did..’_

It had been a surprise but at the same time, it was something she knew to be true. It had been a few months, but once upon a time, they agreed to never speak of what she had heard in his mind. And with the passing of the months, with everything that had happened, it was something she had almost forgotten.

Forgotten what it felt like to have Harry’s hand on hers, the comforting touch that she often turned to. He was her friend, her confidant, and everything had become more confusing after Jimmy. She had felt strangely drawn to the Darklighter, but she never could put her finger on the exact reason why. That smile that greeted her the first time they met, the way he smelled familiar, it was Harry but at the same time, it wasn’t. She was not lying when she had called Jimmy ‘bold’- there was a confidence in his mannerism, an inappropriate level of daring that thrilled her.

While she knew that her relationship with Harry was always one of ‘uncertain waters’ at times- the way he hugged her, the way he always sought her eyes first- she never indulged in the idea of being with him because Harry would never, and they could never.. even now. But with Jimmy, Jimmy who dared to show her what it felt like to be ‘wanted’, she could have what she secretly hoped for, despite it being a skewed version, a distortion of the reality she desired.

Hearing that Harry had feelings for her, hearing it aloud broke a dam in her mind. He cared for _her_ , he _felt something_ like Jimmy did. He was ‘why’ Jimmy felt the way he did. That thought alone made her heart skip a beat. They shared memories and feelings, didn’t they? She should have realised sooner, should have made the connection sooner. But it was all so confusing.

And Abigael was always there. How she hated her, how she despised the Caine that made her feel inadequate. While Macy felt insecure in her powers, Abigael relished having the ‘best of both worlds’, embracing the duality of her nature so easily. Abigael was proficient in the other ways that Macy felt she lacked- the Susans, the way every word from her lips sounded like honey in a trap- trying to seduce every listener. But what Macy hated, no, _envied_ the most, was the way Abigael was around Harry. She flirted with him, her fingers touching his chest, her body pushing a little too close.

It made Macy irrational watching them interact, wishing she could burn the half-demon- if only that would hurt her. While she had initially brushed off that feeling as righteous anger, because Harry was their Whitelighter and Abigael was not to be trusted (and nothing more!), hearing Mel accuse her of being jealous startled her… mostly because she knew it to be true, she _felt_ that it was true. She wished she was that brave, she wished she was ‘proficient’. That she could adopt that same confidence the half-witch had.

Which is why it hurt to see Abigael run to Harry, to see him supportive of her instead of Macy. Because he chose to believe the one person she did not trust, but yes, it was his ‘duty’ to see the good, was it not? And the reply he threw back in her face- ‘my Darklighter?’- she finally saw his own jealousy reflected back. How could she have been so oblivious to his emotions- he was angry with her for choosing Jimmy because she did not choose him. But how could she, when he was never a valid choice? When he was never a real option because he was … Harry: their guardian, their family, her friend. She did not think she was allowed to, that the possibility of ‘them’ was an option.

But Mel was supportive. And Maggie gave her a smile when she told them she was going to see him. With no Elders, the force and approval of sisterhood behind her, Macy went to Safe Space to find him, to seek out the one man with whom it was always a ‘safe space’.

_ 'Daring to see things differently, got me thinking, too..' _

To be greeted with her worst fear felt like earth shifted beneath her feet, a pain, unlike anything Macy had ever felt. Here it was again- rejection because she was not enough. Through tear-filled eyes, she could see him pull Abigael closer, his hands making their way around the demon’s waist, up her back, his lips against hers before they.. no, she could not watch. She could not bear it. Enough, enough. 

* * *

The door slammed shut, the noise reverberating throughout the house. Mel ran down the stairs to find Macy pacing, her face streaked with tears. Without a word she hugged her older sister as words tumbled out “Harry.. Abigael… He doesn’t care about me. He was with her..”

Mel pulled her in tightly, not saying a word. Her own anger bubbled beneath the surface- seeing Maggie lose Parker, and now to have Macy in pain because of another Caine- there was only so much Mel Vera could handle without exploding. ‘Molecular manipulation’.. she wondered if she could use that against her Whitelighter. But that could wait for now. Now, she needed to take care of the ones she loved.

She walked Macy up the stairs to where Maggie was sleeping and sat beside her as the eldest cried herself to sleep. She looked at her family as they slept and let herself feel the depth of her emotions fully. While she could not reach Abigael Caine at this moment, she knew Harry Greenwood would likely need a place to spend the night. She walked down the steps and waited for him to return, every passing second stoking the fire within her.

* * *

Macy woke up to find herself wedged between her sisters. Mel had her arm draped protectively around her waist, Maggie had snuggled closer to her throughout the night. The clock on the side table glowed the Witching Hour as Macy’s held the ceiling in soft focus, her mind otherwise occupied. Her eyes felt raw, the aftermath of the tears she had shed hours before, and the memory of 'why' flashed before her eyes. Her heart ached at the betrayal, the image of _their_ entangled limbs, replaying the moment Harry pulled Abigael closer repeatedly in her mind. But she found that she had cried her share of tears and what was slowly overtaking the hurt was anger. How could he have done that? To have chosen Abigael Caine over _her,_ over her sisters? It was one thing to ‘see the good’, and a whole other thing to put your lips against the enemy.

_‘Danger can be exciting..’_

She did not think he would take her words to heart. And to think that he had accused her of ‘not thinking clearly’. How dare he when he was clearly doing the same thing? How dare he when she did nothing with Jimmy, whereas his hands, his mouth were all over Abigael? Could she have enchanted him? While Macy could not push aside that possibility completely, she knew it was more than that- that she was right to be suspicious of their interactions, that her own jealousy had been well placed.

Abigael Caine did what she wanted, took what she wanted, and got away with everything. There was something to be admired about the brazen attitude with which Alistair’s spawn took on the world- they considered everything to be rightfully theirs, much like their father. Genetics don’t lie, do they?

Macy was taken out of her thought spiral by a soft creak from the floorboards above her head. So, he was back, was he? She felt herself instinctively flinch, thinking back to the idea she had entertained before she fell asleep, that perhaps he would spend the night in the arms of someone else. And perhaps he even did, only to come crawling back at this ungodly hour. The taste of metal filled her mouth: she had bitten down a little too hard on the innerside of her lower lip in her quest to make sense of the mess around her. The sting from the cut her teeth made felt like a physical manifestation of the hurt he had caused her- a cut that would be reopened repeatedly in the future given it’s position, much like the pain she was bound to feel each time she would see Harry from that point onwards.

_‘Harold, tell them how close we've gotten after our little... adventure..'_

She thought of Abigael’s smirk. She wondered how much truth rang in that sentence, what indeed had gone on between them in the time she was away. Had Harry lied to her? Had they have been involved this whole time? And more importantly, did he care for Abigael.. the way he apparently cared for her?

‘Bold. Charming.’ 

Funny how those exact words could be used to describe Abigael, almost as though this mess was a cosmic joke - the universe punishing Macy by using her own words against her. Was Abigael everything Harry secretly wanted? Was his attraction to the demon the same as her own to his Darklighter- a Fun House version of the real thing? Or was she so easily replaceable in his heart? His feelings for Abigael.. real?

She needed answers and she knew the only place she would get them was one floor above. Macy extricated herself from her shared bed as gently as possible, crawling out of the covers and gingerly stepping over her sister’s legs. Maggie and Mel were undoubtedly exhausted by the trials of the previous day as they made no protest to her movements. She padded her way up the stairs, holding her breath as she reached the attic door. Peaking in, she saw Harry on his make-shift bed; he had changed out of his suit, his night clothes hanging loosely on his frame. She was surprised to see him looking so defeated, his eyes on the floor, not realising she was there.

This setting struck her as familiar, but with a reversal of roles. She was the one at the door this time, but she did not seek comfort with him. No, what she she needed was the truth, even if it meant her broken heart would lie shattered on the floor. Fixing her gaze on him, she rapped her knuckles against the door to alert him to her presence. His head snapped up, eyes meeting hers- his own filled with shock, and something she could not quite identify.

‘Harry, we need to talk.’


	2. Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Macy and Harry finally talk things through, be it for better or worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out far more sappy than I expected it to. And it's probably OOC, too. 🤷♀️ I went in with one idea and ended up listening to 'Sunrise' from the In The Heights OBC soundtrack on repeat, which kinda altered it. Please don't hate me

The early rays of the sun cut through the gap of the bedroom curtains. Macy watched her sisters as they slept, soft breathing the only sound in the room. For a moment, it was as though there was little to bother them in the world- just the arms of sleep cradling them. Mel shivered a little, as the blankets Macy had snuck out of hours ago, were gathered at the foot of the bed, only partially covering her feet. Maggie's face bore a soft smile, and Macy could not help but wonder if she dreamt of the better days when Parker was still alive. If those were her dreams, how broken she would be when she got up. Macy walked over and placed a soft kiss on her youngest sister's forehead before tucking the covers around Mel. 

She walked downstairs, greeted by the soft whistle of the boiling kettle. Harry was already in the midst of preparing breakfast, as was his habit. Their eyes met as she made her way closer into the kitchen, stopping beside him to help arrange the table. They did not say anything, last night's words seemed to hang in the air between them. 

* * *

_"I don't think that's a good idea, not right now.."_

_Macy could only blink in response. Harry's gaze had dropped back down to the floor before him. He wanted her to leave, he could not deal with confrontation so late this night- not when the guilt he felt was overwhelming, when his emotions flipped within him. He felt regret, yes, but he had no reason to suspect that Macy felt more than civil regard for him. When Mel told him that his feelings were reciprocated by her older sister, it became too much._

_And now she stood in his doorway, eyes red from crying, and she wanted to talk through things. He could not do it tonight, lest he says something that damages their relationship further. And he prayed that she spared him this kind mercy. She was silent, a little too silent for a little too long. Harry glanced towards the door, his gaze still lowered, and saw that she was still standing there, unmoving. After what felt like an eternity, her voice pierced the silence._

_"Why?"_

_"Why? I don't understand..." The question seemed too loaded to merely be asking about why he wanted to postpone this. Was she asking about his dalliance with her perceived enemy? Why he had done it? Or why they were in this mess?_

_"Harry, I just want to talk. We need to talk or this will just drive me insane," her voice filled with pain, causing Harry's heart to tighten involuntarily in response. He braced himself to meet her eyes and there were fresh tears in them, threatening to fall with the next flicker of her lashes. Oh, how he wanted to reach out and hold her, how he wanted to kiss those tears away and simply 'be there'. But a great chasm had opened up between and while he would do anything to cross it, the wounds he had inflicted, the wounds he himself had, were too fresh for any balm of reparation._

_"I can't speak to you right now."_

_"I don't understand. After everything we've gone through, after what happened today, and what you did with.." anger coloured her words before Macy stopped short of completing that sentence._

_"Yes, despite everything, and despite you knowing what I did, I don't think this is a wise time for any of it."_

_A frown crossed her face, bringing her brows together. Hary watched as she tried to piece together how he knew that_ she _knew._

_He sighed. "Mel told me that you came to Safe Space.."_

_Macy's feet shifted on the ground as she looked away from him for the first time, her arms crossing her torso, absentmindedly hugging herself. He watched her hands knead her upper arms gently, as though to self-soothe, a gesture he had often done to comfort her. But he was no longer a comfort. He was nothing but a source of hurt and he was tired._ This _is why the Elders had rules against relationships between Whitelighters and witches- because feelings were messy and it would be difficult to keep level headed with this baggage. If there was another Whitelighter around, Harry would have swapped out in a heartbeat: anything to stop Macy from hurting, anything that would ensure that his family would remain protected. They needed to be protected from him but unfortunately, he was their only option. The complicated emotions wrecked him internally and he felt a strain manifest as a knot in his back._

_But what Macy said next surprised him._

_"I'm sorry."_

_His head snapped up to catch her eyes, but she was still looking away, cheeks moistened with fresh tears. Her shoulders drooped with a sigh as she turned to him. She looked heartbroken, and her lower lip trembled a little as she continued, "This is my fault."_

_Harry did not know when or how he moved but found himself standing in front of her, his hands automatically reaching out to pull her close when he reminded himself to hold back. It was an instinct to protect her, to want to shield her from hurt- he could not repress that much longer._

_"How can you say that? How can you blame yourself when it was my mistake, my weakness? You have done nothing.."_

_"Don't you see? If I didn't mess things up with the Darklighter, if I had not made it hard for you, you would have never been pushed to go to her.."_

_"Macy, please.."_

_"If I had reached Safe Space sooner, maybe it would have never happened. Because I would have told you.."_

_It was the second time that night that she had stopped speaking abruptly. Harry found himself holding his breath, refusing to push her, allowing Macy to choose what she would say next... if she would continue. He feared what her next words would be, half agony, half hope of what they were._

_"I would have told you that I have feelings for you, too.."_

_It felt as though his heart exploded in his chest._

_Harry could not help the smile that was forming on his face. It felt out of place given the circumstances, but the joy and relief he felt hearing he say those words eclipsed his guilt at that moment. She did not say 'had' but 'have', and that simple choice of present tense lead him to hope that he had not completely severed all chances in his pursuit of her, that there was still a possibility._

_"But I saw the both of you together, and I don't know what to think anymore." She finished, her tone defeated. Macy was looking anywhere in the attic but at him. Harry held his breath before reaching out to gently cup her left elbow. He felt her stiffen under his touch but maintained his hand when she didn't pull away. "Macy," he said, coaxing her to look at him, giving her elbow a gentle squeeze. Her eyes found his own, but struggled to maintain contact._

_"I have been a fool in so many ways- a jealous fool for the way I acted yesterday, and for the way I have been since we lost you. There is no excuse for my behaviour except to say it was guided by envy."_

_"Envy?"_

_"I envied him, the Darklighter," his hand fell away as he walked back to sit down at the bench by the window. "That secret is out at least. He used you badly, and yet you seemed desperate to forgive him." Harry's bitterness seeped into his words, as Macy watched him from where she stood, seemingly planted in that spot. "I saw that you liked him, and it killed me because it was not me; because I was not going to be enough. That's the last thing he said to me, you know- that I would never be enough for you."_

_Her silent regard of him only persuaded him to continue, "My whole existence turned on its head when Jimmy made his appearance, and I have felt fractured ever since. And to have you favour him, despite everything he had done, it was painful. And I lashed out at you. And then with Abigael... It is selfish to say but I wanted to make you jealous, to let you feel the way I have. Can you understand that?"_

_She nodded, dumbly. A tear had made its way down her cheek, and Harry's heart clenched in his chest for the second time that night. The mention of Abigael must have reopened a fresh wound for her and he cursed himself for making that choice. "It was a mistake, Macy. A mistake and nothing more. It meant nothing, she means nothing."_

_"It didn't look like nothing."_

_He flinched at those words. "I wanted to feel 'something' again, and she was there. It felt good to be wanted, wanted despite how broken I felt."_

_"But I wanted you.."_

_"You never made that clear with me, Macy."_

_"And you think you were an open book? You kept protecting her, choosing to keep her around when I didn't, when I_ don't _trust her. What was I to think? You mocked my behaviour only days before, and yet you did the same."_

_They stared at each other, each willing the other to back down first. Harry demure to her, deciding it best as he truly had no comeback from that. He had sat on his high horse only to fall gracelessly. "We are alike in that sense, aren't we?" he said a sardonic smile flitting across his features. "Unable to speak about things plainly when it comes to each other."_

* * *

They had been able to work in silence, arranging the plates and cutlery in the appropriate places without so much as a word. Macy made the coffee as Harry cooked. The sunlight poured in gently, as the other two sisters walked down the stairs. Mel's gaze flickered between her Whitelighter and her sister, surprised to see them working together after the night's events. Harry greeted her with a 'good morning' to which she only nodded, her heart steeled against him for the sake of the older witch. Her frown only deepened when Macy sat down beside Harry for breakfast. Yet neither addressed each other, eyes only focused on Maggie, who pushed her food around the plate before her. 

When they were finished (Maggie had excused herself early), Mel stayed on to help clear up, her eyes thoughtfully watching the other two interact. She expected conflict, to at least sense friction. Instead, there they were, calm and composed alongside each other. She felt impressed with Macy's demeanour as she remembered her own outburst at Harry. Yet her sister seemed unperturbed, too sphinx-like for comfort. She narrowed her eyes at them, before loudly announcing that she was going upstairs. She made her way out of the kitchen before turning around again, her own curiosity getting the better of her. From her hidden corner, she watched as the two unsuspecting figures continued their work.

* * *

_Macy sighed before she moved to take her place beside him. The familiar seating- they had been in this same position for the first time over a year ago. It was then that Harry realised his feelings for his oldest charge were beginning to complicate themselves. She had smiled at him and he felt his hardened heart thaw at the sight of it. And now here they were, the result of feelings that were not kept in check._

_"All the parts of him that I was drawn to, it was because they were familiar. He was you, an uninhibited version of you. And you were always so proper, Harry, that I never dreamt to think of you as anything more, even if I wanted to. So when this twisted version showed up, it was easy to let go._

_But he wasn't you. He isn't you. He's not whom I want. I didn't allow myself to acknowledge that until Mel told me that you had feelings for me. That changed everything." She smiled sadly at him, twisting her hands in her lap. "And you're not broken, Harry. You never were, not to me, not to us."_

_His hand reached for hers, clasping it tightly as she gave him a gentle squeeze in response. They stared at their intertwined fingers, feeling the warmth of each other's touch. Harry was the first to break the silence, "So, what do we do now?"_

* * *

Harry handed Macy the last plate to return to the shelf as he placed the dishtowel down. She smiled feeling the sudden pressure at the crook of her arm; Harry had placed his hand on her elbow again, as he did last night. She covered his hand with her own and squeezed gently in return. 

_"Can we just stay? Right here, for now." She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. By no means was anything fixed, there was still a lot more to be done to mend things, But yes, for now, they could stay, her hand in his as they made their wordless promise; t_ _he promise to stay beyond the sunrise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has seen the BCC's adaptation of Emma in 2009 (where Rupert played Frank Churchill), you might recognise some lines that I lifted from Austen's work ✌️ I actually began writing this with a whole 'Macy let's Harry have it' vibe, but then it turned into 'Macy is just so freaking tired, and Harry is so freaking tired' and they kinda talk it out like adults without much explosion. I don't know if that makes it better or worse, lol. You tell me.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it didn't come off as too out of character for the girls. I wanted to get inside Macy's head a little, and to give her the strength to confront him, especially with how blunt Harry was over Jimmy at times. More angst to come in the next chapter.


End file.
